In this text, I offer insights drawn from the journey of a student navigating the complexities of musical expression, particularly her struggles with playing music by ear and adopting a left-handed approach, which was her innate orientation.
The journey of learning to play a musical instrument can expose fascinating facets of an individual’s psyche, including deep-seated energy blockages that predispose people to exhibit neurotic behaviors. Let me introduce you to Ana (a fictitious name chosen to protect the identity of a real student), a senior learner, who is about 60 years old. She engaged in weekly ukulele sessions with me. From what I remember, she had already spent around a year or a year and a half learning the ukulele with different tutors. She was familiar with numerous chords and had the ability to interpret musical notation on the staff. Ana had successfully worked her way through an entire book from a widely acclaimed series in Canada (Hall Leonard) and had made considerable headway with the second volume by the same author. She also ventured into playing segments of songs from a collection that included popular tunes and jazz standards in a fakebook format. Yet, she faced substantial difficulties in executing rhythmic patterns with her right hand and in playing a song in its entirety without relying on the sheet music. I suggested she begin with simple chords that were familiar to her, alongside some rhythmic exercises for the right hand, but she struggled to sustain a rhythm for 2 or 3 measures without faltering. After numerous attempts, she confided in me that she was naturally left-handed but had been coerced into playing right-handed. This was due to a prior instructor in a group setting who had not only insisted on conformity but had ridiculed her for her natural preference. Learning of her predicament, I encouraged her to embrace her natural inclination towards playing left-handed. She was open to the idea, yet, months went by without her restringing her ukulele for left-handed play. As we delved deeper into her personal life, she unveiled aspects of her relationship with her mother, revealing sentiments of anger and frustration towards what she perceived as an overly demanding and inflexible parental figure, which seemed to have cast a long shadow over her life.
Regrettably, our lessons were cut short due to COVID, and although she had an interest in learning the ukulele, she was not inclined towards engaging in a therapeutic journey. What I am left with are reflections and theories about this experience, prompting me to pen this article. From the standpoint of body psychotherapy, it is understood that individuals develop responses to life experiences that create tension in various body parts. These tensions persist unless consciously addressed and released through specific techniques or practices. Moreover, these tensions are often entwined with personal beliefs and emotional-mental processes. In this instance, it might be the notion of being unable to confront authority figures—the mother in her childhood, mirrored in her adulthood by the authoritarian, critical teacher who ridiculed her and enforced conformity. The real question then becomes, aside from the teacher’s influence, what barred her from attempting to play left-handed? Additionally, what hindered her from playing simple measures without the need to glance at the music, especially when dealing with chords she was well acquainted with? Personally, I find it hard to attribute this to a lack of natural talent or a physical limitation, as that seems improbable. Based on the personality she displayed during nearly a year of instruction, I am more inclined to believe that these are blockages tied to unresolved and unconscious conflicts related to her experiences with her mother. While I cannot provide a definitive conclusion, as we did not embark on a therapeutic process, this scenario underscores how learning to play a musical instrument can unveil intriguing dimensions of one’s personality.
Enrique Uxa 